5 Common Misconceptions About Surrogacy

December 12, 2018

Five Common Myths About Surrogate Pregnancy Answered

As more people are turning to surrogates to help them grow their families, there has become a larger public awareness of the surrogacy process. Which means that there has also been a lot of misconceptions and myths about what surrogacy really entails. Media coverage, social media, and entertainment have helped to spread a lot of information out there that is not always correct. If you are finding yourself looking into becoming a surrogate or growing your family via surrogacy, but you have some reservations, here are a few of the most common misconceptions of the surrogacy process to help you decide whether to become a surrogate.

Surrogates may have trouble giving up the baby.

This is a common fear that many people have. However, women who have experienced surrogacy have said, a surrogacy pregnancy is not the same kind of bond they had with their own children. Many of them feel they are doing a more intense form of babysitting. After all, surrogate know that the baby is not genetically theirs and build a relationship with the soon-to-be parents, so the experience is substantially different. The bonding process with the intended parents only strengthens this. As a matter of fact, the bond with the intended parents is often a surrogate’s favorite thing about surrogacy. Most surrogates feel incredible joy at helping parents achieve their family goals. Often times they cite their surrogacy as being one of the most beautiful and intense experiences of their lives. Concerns about keeping the baby do not even come up for most surrogates.

Intended Parents will have control over the surrogate’s body.

The surrogate always remains in control of her own body and life. Before pregnancy even begins the surrogate agency sits down with the intended parents and the surrogate to negotiate all eventualities during the pregnancy so that surrogates will enter the pregnancy clear expectations for all situations. You will also be made aware of all the steps and what is expected from both sides. This will help facilitate trust and understanding between you. The expectation of a surrogate is to maintain as happy and healthy pregnancy as possible. You will never be forced to do anything you are not comfortable with.

The baby is genetically related to the surrogate mother.

The difference between traditional surrogacy and gestational surrogacy is often misunderstood. In a traditional surrogacy the baby is the genetic offspring of the surrogate. In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate is not genetically related to the baby she carries. Traditonal surrogacy has become very rare and is not handled by our agency. All surrogacies are achieved with eggs that are not biologically related to the surrogate. There is no genetic relationship between surrogate and child, therefore the surrogate is not “giving up” her own baby. Eggs used in the process come from donors or the intended parents. This has also helped open up surrogacy to women who would never consider doing a traditional surrogacy.

People think all surrogates are in it for the money.

While surrogate mothers are financially compensated, it is usually not the reason they become surrogates. Surrogates are mothers themselves and want to help others achieve parenthood. Most former surrogates say that they received overwhelming support and positive reactions from friends and family for their decision to become surrogates. No one is becoming rich by being a surrogate and yet this misinformation still persists by some people.

All surrogacies are difficult pregnancies and end in multiple babies.

No one can ever guarantee a healthy pregnancy. However, by having a very strict guidelines of who is able to be a surrogate we are able to help cut as many risks as possible. That’s why all surrogates are required to have been pregnant before becoming a surrogate. Having a healthy pregnancy is a good indication that you will continue to have healthy pregnancies and we do everything we can to ensure that. The decision on how many embryos to transfer to the surrogate is part of the negotiation process. The surrogate has the right to agree on how many embryos may be transferred. The fact that many people do decide to transfer more than one embryo and the fact that statistically multiple births are a riskier pregnancy has given rise to this myth. Most surrogates have uneventful pregnancies that produce single babies and they often go on to have another surrogate pregnancy.

The surrogacy process can cause uncertainty, especially when you begin the research and learn more about this. That’s why we are always here to answer any questions and address all concerns you may have about this process.