Although surrogacy provides many benefits for surrogates, the process also takes a toll on your mind and body. Even if you love being pregnant, you can still anticipate emotional effects of the surrogacy journey. Pregnancy pushes your body to the limit at times, and surrogacy may be a new experience for you. Building an excellent support system can help get you through the hard days, the treatments, the chores at home, and everything else. Here are a few emotional effects of surrogacy and some ways you can let others share the load.
EMOTIONAL CONCERNS DURING A SURROGACY JOURNEY
Carrying a pregnancy can create a lot of emotional upheaval. You may encounter the following surrogacy emotional issues:
- Emotional changes due to medications you’re taking
- Stress coordinating procedures and appointments with your daily life
- Strong feelings related to the surrogacy process
- Worry about carrying the pregnancy to term, even if everything is going well
- Concerns about how the pregnancy differs from past experiences
These feelings, while totally normal for pregnancy, can make life more complicated during your surrogacy journey.
HOW TO BUILD A SURROGACY SUPPORT SYSTEM
As a surrogate, you deserve to have a support system that can help you manage daily responsibilities, take care of you during and after procedures, and act as a shoulder you can lean on when you have a rough day. Every surrogacy support system looks different, and it’s all right to need more help than you expected. These tips can help you build an effective support system.
1. UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU NEED
Before you can establish supports for your surrogacy journey, you should make a list of things you’ll need throughout the process. Assistance might include:
- Someone to drive you to appointments
- Childcare while you have procedures or catch up on daily responsibilities
- People you can call to vent or help you solve problems
- A meal, chore, or errand train, so you don’t run out of clean laundry, groceries, or easy meals for the kids
You can’t perfectly anticipate what you will need, but brainstorming ahead of time will make it easier to plan.
2. FIND SURROGACY SUPPORT OPTIONS
With your list of responsibilities to cover, you can start considering friends, family members, and professionals who can help you fill in the gaps. Although people you know and love make a great place to start, you shouldn’t hesitate to look for options outside of your family or social circle. Surrogacy support groups and therapists who understand the surrogacy process could be a wonderful source of camaraderie and advice. In-person help is ideal, but you may get a lot of benefit from online or virtual support as well.
3. BUILD YOUR SUPPORT TEAM
Using this information, you can build your support system. Before you presume that someone can provide support, you should talk to them about what you need and confirm that they are willing and able to manage it. Ideally, you should have more than one person who can help you with certain tasks or difficulties. That way, you can keep your life running on schedule, even if a member of your support system isn’t available all the time.
TYPES OF SURROGACY SUPPORT GROUPS
Embarking on a surrogacy journey can stir up a wide range of emotions. From the thrill of creating life to the nerves about what comes next, surrogates experience both challenges and joy, often finding deep fulfillment in their unique role. Having a strong support network can help put any surrogacy emotional issues into context and make the process more positive.
Here at ISC, our team members fill more than just a professional role, they’re experts at helping guide and support you — as well as the intended parents — throughout this adventure. We also encourage you to seek out your family and friends for support. Having these loved ones there for hugs, laughs, and everything in between helps make the most out of the shared joy this journey can bring.
DISCOVER EXTERNAL SUPPORT
The backing from your agency and loved ones are not the only ways to deal with the physical and emotional effects of surrogacy. We recommend you broaden your circle by checking out some extra groups — both in your neighborhood and online — to find just the right surrogacy support for you. After all, there is a wide world of support to be found in the surrogacy community and beyond. For example, you could build connections through:
- Doula groups
- Fertility communities
- Volunteer groups
- LGBTQ+ parenting and surrogacy groups
- Mom communities
HOW TO CONNECT
When you’re ready to make these new connections, a great place to start is by reaching out to us at ISC. Quite a few members of our team have first-hand experience as surrogates themselves and can offer constructive pointers. You could also take your search online where you’ll find lists and links to groups for just about everyone. Social media and forums are also great for quick answers and real-time talks with people who are experiencing surrogacy and understand how you might be feeling. There may be in-person counseling options providing surrogacy support as well, depending on where you live.
PROS OF SURROGATE SUPPORT GROUPS
Surrogacy support groups offer a treasure trove of benefits. By joining one, you tap into a community that truly understands the unique experiences and challenges of surrogacy. These groups provide emotional and mental support, invaluable advice, and the comfort of shared experiences. All of which can help you feel less isolated. They’re also fantastic for learning from others’ journeys, giving you practical insights and tips that can guide your own path. Many surrogates find lifelong friendships within these groups, adding a special layer of personal enrichment to the surrogacy experience.
CONS OF SURROGATE SUPPORT GROUPS
While there are many advantages to joining surrogacy support groups, there are a few drawbacks to consider. The information shared in these groups — while helpful — can sometimes be overwhelming or even conflicting, which might lead to confusion. Additionally, the emotional intensity of shared stories can be a lot to handle, especially if you are in a vulnerable state. Privacy can also be a concern as sharing personal experiences in a group setting isn’t comfortable for everyone. It’s important to find a group that respects confidentiality and offers a safe space for all members of the surrogacy community.
GET EXPERT SUPPORT FROM INTERNATIONAL SURROGACY CENTER
The emotional effects of surrogacy can be less stressful when you have an expert team to support you. At International Surrogacy Center, we provide a variety of options to assist surrogates, including monthly Zoom support meetings and staff members with surrogacy experience. Contact us to learn more. We’re happy to answer your questions and confirm that you have everything you need for your surrogacy journey.