Reaching the matching stage is an exciting milestone in your surrogacy journey. While this step often brings a sense of anticipation, it’s also a time to slow down, reflect, and make sure the match feels right for you. Below, we outline what this stage typically looks like and what you may want to think about before saying yes.
The Matching Process
When we see potential compatibility, your coordinator will share the intended parents’ profile with you. This usually includes details about their story, values, hopes for surrogacy, and what they’re looking for in a partnership. You’ll have time to review everything and consider whether you feel comfortable moving forward.
If there’s mutual interest, the next step is typically a virtual meeting. A representative from our agency will join this conversation to help guide introductions, keep things relaxed, and ensure everyone has space to ask questions.
Matching conversations are meant to be open, respectful, and informative. It’s normal for these conversations to include topics like communication preferences, involvement during pregnancy, expectations around milestones, and how decisions will be made along the way. Many surrogates describe this conversation as a chance to see whether communication flows naturally and whether expectations seem aligned.
This first meeting isn’t about making an immediate decision. Many surrogates take time after the initial meeting to reflect, talk with their support system, and check in with their coordinator before making a final decision.
What to Consider Before Matching
Every surrogate approaches matching a little differently, but many find it helpful to think through both practical and personal aspects of the partnership.
For example, you might reflect on what kind of relationship you’d like with the intended parents. Some surrogates hope for a close, friendly connection, while others prefer something more structured and professional. There’s no single right approach — what matters is finding a dynamic that feels natural to you.
Communication style is another important consideration. How often would you want to check in? Do you prefer regular updates and casual conversation, or communication mainly around appointments and major milestones?
You may also want to consider how involved the intended parents might be during the pregnancy and delivery. For example, are you comfortable with them attending certain medical appointments or being present for the birth? Similarly, what level of contact, if any, would feel right to you after delivery?
Some topics can feel more personal and sensitive, but discussing them early on helps prevent confusion and misunderstandings later in the journey. This can include preferences around how many embryos are transferred, comfort with the possibility of carrying multiples, and how unexpected medical situations would be approached. You might also talk through day-to-day expectations, such as travel, lifestyle adjustments during pregnancy, or whether you’re comfortable following certain requests from the intended parents.
Finally, it’s okay to ask yourself a simple but meaningful question: Do you feel a genuine sense of comfort with these intended parents? Surrogacy is a shared journey that can span a year or more, and feeling at ease with one another can make a significant difference in the overall experience.
How the International Surrogacy Agency Supports Your Matching Process
At the International Surrogacy Center, our role is to support you at every step, from reviewing profiles to navigating conversations and finalizing a match. We’re here to answer questions, talk through concerns, and make sure you feel confident in whatever decision you make.
One of the most important things to keep in mind is that matching is a mutual decision. Just as intended parents are hoping to find the right surrogate, you’re also choosing the partnership that feels right for you. You always have the space to ask for more information, request another conversation, or take additional time to think things through. If you’re reviewing a potential match or preparing for your first meeting with intended parents, our team is here to guide you. Reach out to us today to learn more about the process.